{"id":68409,"date":"2018-04-27T08:30:38","date_gmt":"2018-04-27T15:30:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mayagonzalez.com\/blog\/?p=68409"},"modified":"2018-04-27T14:42:45","modified_gmt":"2018-04-27T21:42:45","slug":"my-story-your-story-their-story-who-gets-to-tell-it-and-why","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.mayagonzalez.com\/blog\/2018\/04\/my-story-your-story-their-story-who-gets-to-tell-it-and-why\/","title":{"rendered":"My Story, Your Story, Their Story, Who Gets to Tell It?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"artMy Story<\/strong><\/h5>\n

I have been involved in the children\u2019s book industry for over 20 years. I joke that they accidentally let me in. <\/em>Indeed, something must have been going on\u2026stars momentarily aligned, portals briefly opened\u2026 because not only did I get \u201cin,\u201d but my first book, Prietita and the Ghost Woman<\/em><\/a> was written, translated and illustrated by all queer Chicanx people. Gloria Anzald\u00faa, Francisco Alarc\u00f3n and myself.<\/p>\n

AND not just that, it\u2019s a decolonized retelling of a traditional folktale, La Llorona;<\/em> AND Prietita, the main character is a young genderqueer person; AND they\u2019re apprenticing with a curendera<\/em>. I mean, oh my gawd, what?! This is amazing! Truly.<\/p>\n

I was ushered in on the wings of a multicolored Alebrije singing the song of Xochipilli and Xochiquetzal on the wind, right? YES!<\/p>\n

And, not so much.<\/p>\n

It was 1996.<\/strong> None of us were closeted, but I know for myself, queerness was not what I talked about when I went on school visits. And on the rare occasion I presented with Francisco I never heard him broach the subject either, with anybody, <\/em>not once.<\/p>\n

Back in the day it was radical enough to be in a school talking about race and ethnicity, belonging and reflection, even equity with kids of color<\/em>. <\/p><\/blockquote><\/div> Back in the day it was radical enough to be in a school talking about race and ethnicity, belonging and reflection, even equity with kids of color<\/em>. So the character Prietita and I, put one foot in the proverbial closet. I stayed silent about their gender queerness to the kids, and when asked if I was married I never denied that I was partnered, but if possible I avoided talking about the truth of who my partner was.<\/p>\n

A sage queer, I knew how to measure and sense; sidestep, to keep myself safe and solid.<\/strong> I usually had a day\u2019s work to get through and I needed to keep things moving.<\/p>\n

Incidental homophobia would slow me down.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m tattooed, pierced, my hair is dyed and I dress fabulously! To the kids I was an edgy oddity that wanted to PLAY! But at every turn, I could see how my queerness might erase the work I was doing, work that I loved and was committed to. I had a part of myself that would go on autopilot with the kids, the teachers and principals. I was aware of what I was doing, but it was beyond my control.<\/p>\n

I was teaching about First Voice and equitable reflection, but honestly, I only felt safe with a part of myself being heard and seen. I was protecting my heart, my livelihood and my life\u2019s work.<\/p><\/blockquote><\/div>\nI was teaching about First Voice and equitable reflection, but honestly, I only felt safe with a part of myself being heard and seen. I was protecting my heart, my livelihood and my life\u2019s work. Gentle avoidance and partial acknowledgments became a part of the game. It helped soften the edges as I skittered through situations that would clearly have been inaccessible to me or greatly altered as the BIG QUEER that I actually am.<\/p>\n

I comforted myself with the fact that queerness was deeply embedded, coded, into the understory of all my books, whether illustrated or both illustrated and written by me. I knew as queers, we always search for ourselves and each other, between the lines.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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First Voice<\/a>, is the idea that a community should speak for itself.
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